Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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