He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
