Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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