her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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