Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
