an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
