remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
