dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize