i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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