Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
