Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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