Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
