So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
