He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
