i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Never joke about your clitoris.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
