you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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