goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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