Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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