He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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