i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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