Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
