so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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