she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
