I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
