there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
