If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
