Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
