would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
