You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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