its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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