I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
