Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize