so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
