If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize