When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
