I'm jealous of your bromance
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
