We won't sleep together?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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