just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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