did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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