he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
