Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize