so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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