Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
