my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A+ Viking dick
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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