i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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