im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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