did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
