I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
