My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
