drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize