I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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