Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
