His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
