I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just want to make out with him forever
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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