i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
