we have pet lesbian snakes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
