I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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