Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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