Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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