Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
