imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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