she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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