In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you win again, gameday.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
