I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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