i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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