Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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