She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
